Don't Think Twice, It's Alright

Running to the north was the best thing I could have done.

Yes, I do find myself dying to run back home sometimes. I would kill for my dogs, and seeing my parents get back into that rental car to fly back to Rashka and the countless cousins and the humidity, I can't help but ache for Virginia.

Sometimes you never know how much you love a place until you can't wake up there anymore.

So many high school friends hate their schools. Godwin was their cocoon, and they were in their element there. I am just now realising how much of a blessing it was that I did not fit in to any degree.

Because here, I just click. The boy who comes up to print a paper is more than happy to sit and watch a rolling stones concert while rubbing that hippie back of mine. When I tell someone that the word coital reminds me of seashells, they smile and agree.

People wear what they want, think what they want, say what they feel.

No, it's not all sunshine and happiness. There are pretentious assholes here. cocaine and marijuana is around every corner, as is the idiot who only comes out of his drug den for cigarettes and occasional classes.

But for the first time, I feel pretty and worth something. People pay attention to me, my ideas and my body are not simply dismissed.

Stress and homesickness are a part of life. They add to the element of what I am giving up to truly learn who I am

because I have no idea what kind of person lies inside of me. In Virginia I would have followed the preassigned courses in math, science, friendship, marraige, and life.

There's no roadmap at this college. While all the other souls in their 18th year are freaking out because they haven't put all the pieces together,

I get giddy every time I think about how much I have ahead of me.

But tonight, I will fall asleep only knowing the yellowed pages of All the King's Men and the faint smell of Vermont leather resting on my skin.

And that makes everything just a little bit better.