How Do You Afford Your Rock and Roll Lifestyle?

It's pretty amazing what two days, a "fuck you and fuck off" mixed cd, some rent songs, a few hours of yoga, a bikeride, some vietnamese, some grapefruit, and a good night's sleep can do.

Sunday and Monday I was a wreck, with good reason considering the drunken actions of All Around's post break up. I went home that afternoon and passed out. Mother thought I had lost my mind.

But the next morning.

I woke up, and everything seemed a lot closer to okay. School work could find itself done. Dinner could find itself eaten. And yoga has become an addiction.

All Around and I have agreed to take a week off and start over. With the exception of occasional glimpses of the whore in the hallway, I'm looking forward to next Tuesday.

The others and the editor hate him. They don't want me to talk to him. They try to talk him out of taking me to prom.

It's pissing me off. This was my relationship, this is my breakup. I don't need mediators. Yes, I appreciate the support, but they need to relax.

He never knew it, but I named him Mr. All Around Kind of Guy for another reason. He always walking around with a gloss coating. None of these friends know the real Mr. All Around.

Yes, he broke up the way of things in an asshole abrubt way.

Yes, he got drunk and made a fool of himself and me, courtesy of the whore.

But if all of this is the only way to crack open that gloss, then I will gladly go to coffee Tuesday. And I will gladly go to prom with him.

I see him walking around the hallways, and he tries to make an effort to avoid me. The editor tells me he's upset, but as she says, "he messed up, and he should feel like that". I'm just glad that its not me this time around.

A week was just what I needed. Already the thoughts of dark nights and driving around the country have begun to swirl away. As they do, I realise just how unhealthy that relationship was for both of us. We tiptoed around each other, with exceptions for collisions.

starting over seems good.

Especially now, as occasional glimpses of happiness and giddiness at life gradually slide back from their two month absence.

Never underestimate La Vie Boheme.