Jesus the Mexican Boy

mm homecoming.

It's over. I don't want to talk about it because it's just a dance.

what I do want to talk about however, is Dave. Last night at Drews after the dance I was really tired. around 1 I layed on this couch thing and just watched people in a daze. But then the mingled voices and flashing colors running around me faded into the background, and I started to see things I would have missed if I had been stumbling around in a stupor. Dave left for Los Angeles this morning. Last night was the last time we would see him probably. Who knows. It didn't really seem real.

Dave is a big tall mexican kid who looks very menacing from far away. But once you get to know him, he soon lives in your heart. He is kind and always smiling and always has something nice to say. He doesn't talk about anyone and I don't think he would do a soul wrong even if it meant injury to himself. He is the kind of person that comes around once in a lifetime that you don't realize until he is gone. Which is precisely why he had to leave. I saw AC and Julia getting ready to go, and I saw AC go up to Dave. And I saw pure anguish in that amazing person's face, but he was trying to hide it from her so that she wouldn't be upset.

As he walked past me, I saw him sigh. That atomized droplet of desperation and acceptance of the enevitable. That was when I first realized we weren't going to have Dave for much longer. A little while later, I passed him in a room, and I fell into him. I grabbed him and gave him a hug, and I felt him start shaking. And Katt came back to me in this cargo-pants form. That same spirit of something that makes my life wonderful, that has to leave and face the unknown. Once again I was helpless to help.

Human beings were not originally meant to travel long distances. We were not born with trains, planes, and automobiles. People in the past never traveled more then a mile from where they lived. When we started to move and seperate away from our families and friends and loves, we ran into a genetic wall. We have not had enough time in our existance to learn how to cope with distance. People we love, if they are alive and healthy, should be a short walk's length away. Not 3000 miles. We are torturing ourselves by finding new oppurtunities, as great as they are. Distance is not in our nature.

I took a walk with Dave. As we stood on that darkened street where I had felt Katt's soul, I felt this beautiful person break down. I hugged him for me, for andrew, for dave, for everyone. He shook so hard, I thought he was going to shatter onto the Richmond streets. And then I knew what to say. And I told him. And we wiped our eyes, hugged our self beings, and walked inside to capture as much personality as we could for the long ride ahead. It is going to be hard for Dave. Very hard. I am at peace with distance for now. I think I respect it, and those who must walk upon it's clamoring surface. I feel stuck again. Eventually the mud on the path will dry out, and I can continue on with this life. But my shoes will be dirty this time. I hoard every dime that I can find nowadays in the prayer of seeing my other half again.