Breathe in December

Maybe it is just the surprise in the cold air But I will always take the bus home the day we get out for winter break. And I will always walk by the trees and twirl. Because this part of the year is something that shouldn't belong to us, but it does.

It's kind of like how I don't like Christmas day, but I live for Christmas eve. The suspense. Lovely is coming home in a few days. And I am happy. Most of this joy comes from the fact that I am not consumed by the fact that Lovely is coming home. I can finally see it as one ornament on the tree. And I have a crush on a boy named William. And it has simply been so long since the possibility of a relationship. And I keep giggling.

I had Kwanzmaskkah last night. And two of my friends just didn't show up. One of them I was worried about because of personal reasons, but the other one I am fairly upset at. Not that she didn't show up. That she didn't even think to tell me. I gave Johnboy the catcher in the rye in French, and I really hope that he liked it. I hope that Kalene liked her gift.

While standing behind the lonely hostess stand today, I started wondering. Relationships are either built upon trust, or carefully teetering on the edge of some double edged sword. It confuses me how someone that I view to be deep and mature and sensible can have a don't tell don't ask relationship. And it really confuses me how I could possibly be the don't tell don't ask thing in question. I keep telling myself that this is the second that our paths are crossing, that I need to take these leaps while I can. But can I truly contradict my own sensibilities so easily? Is fate more important than conscience?

I hope that it snows this weekend. I hope that I find myself laughing and prancing through the sugar being sifted down from overhead. Snow is fun. It is beautiful and powerful and knows no boundaries. However, no amount of snow compare to those first few flakes. The ones who gave themselves up so that the others could stay with their cloud just a few minutes longer. There's nothing quite like December.