All the Dirt

Hi.

I admit it.

I missed this blog so much.

But I just couldn't go back to it. I thought that I had lost my edge, and every time I went to sit down here, I never quite got to where I needed to be.

So what has happened since I disappeared?

I'm sure most of you have dismissed this place as that girl you used to know so well, but who won't return your calls.

And now it's distant.

So let me try to pick up where I feel things got important.

Things like understanding in a car crash. In late June, the mad scientist and I got into a 3 car pile up and totaled his car. It was scary. It was something that I am glad I have been through, but I will never want to do again. For those of you who have felt the world slow down right before a crash, you understand what it's like. It leaves you with something, a memory that was so strong that it burned a permanent place in your dreams.

I am still with the Mad Scientist. No, he is not why I disappeared, as much as they would like to think so.

I disappeared because I wasn't myself, and when you are like that, everything you write looks more and more like a lie, and after a while you just can't

take it.

So I took some time off. I have been by myself most of this summer. And finally, for the first time in a long while, I feel like Grace.

It's nice to breathe easy again.

I would like to say that I will jump back on this blog and write away daily from now on. But it's more like losing a friend, and then trying to catch up. The sentences don't come so easily. The paragraphs look awkward. But I still remember what drew me to it in the first place, and that's why I'm back.