Seconds Tick the Time Out

Happy Easter, my dear friends whom I have neglected for 12 days. I find myself delving deeper and deeper into the philosophy that the less you write, the more that you have to say. And I have a lot to say, to a lot of different people.

To my friend who is spiraling out of control:
You told me that you were fine. You said that you were in control. Everyone else said that it was not my place. But if you go into a coma like you did last week, and you don't come out, the weight of that hospital band is going to be very heavy to hold up. Because you have so much potential. And I love you, just like I love all of my friends. And I don't want you to die. Please, please. Think.

To my father:
I am sorry that I forgot your birthday. But I will be honest, I didn't want to remember. I think back with a pang of remorse to an old man in a ruined apartment with no one but his dog to love him. And I am such a horrible daughter for it. But I am not ready to face you right now. You have forgotten me so many times in my life. I don't want to put my feelings on the line, only to be disappointed once again. I am sorry that you are 48, and have nothing to show for it but a squandered inheritance, a ruined family, and a daughter who is a stranger to you. I am sorry.

To Annie:
You are strength. I have not been there enough for you. None of us have. But a lot of that stems from the fact that we don't know what we can do. If I could make things better for you, I would in a heartbeat. I'll bring you a flower ever day. But I don't know if it will help. So I can promise you that if you ever need anything, I am here. And please, don't forget.


To Lovely:
For a day or two after you left here without so much as a goodbye, or even a hello, I was angry. But then I realized that it's not your fault. It's not mine either. You are a good friend, but we probably won't be close for a long time, if we ever are again even. But you are amazing, and I appreciate the length at which you have opened my eyes. And I hope that your life is always as happy as it is now. Whether I am in it or not.

To Chad:
I am so glad that you have had the chance to witness the beauty of culture shock. Like I said, every writer should be at least bilingual, because for every language that you know, there is a completely different way to describe something. Don't just stop at Paris. Find all of it. Good Luck.

12 days brings a lot of growing up. Happy Easter.